Celebrating Women and My Self
The Celebrating Women series was born out of an effort to support women’s rights and celebrate women’s achievements. The idea began during International Women’s Day and the month of March, spurred by the ongoing misogynistic, sexist, and racist views coming from much of American political “leadership.” While I, and many others I know, often feel like we don’t know what to do, how to combat or “stand up,” I felt this series as my own way of doing so.
My friend, former colleague, and one of the incredible women featured in this series, Lena Wu-Fuentes, suggested I take part in the series myself. After careful consideration and some mulling it over in the shower because the bathroom, in water, is where I do some of my best mulling, I decided what better way to honor my mother on the fourteenth anniversary of her death than to reflect on the woman I’ve become? Because she is a woman I know for certain my mama would be proud of, and a woman she had a significant part in raising.
If I can’t celebrate my Self*, then how do I even have the right to host such a series on The Road Linds Travels blog? Also, in celebrating my Self, I celebrate her – the one who chose to bring me into this world. From the most vulnerable vaults and candid caverns of my heart, I hope the following inspires each of you to celebrate your Self today and always.
*I know how to spell “myself,” “herself,” and so forth – In this context, I’ve used “Self” with a capital “S” and by it “Self” to signify the importance and depth of what “Self” can mean for each of us. Self is more than a reflexive pronoun, noun, or idea; it’s not for anyone else but your Self to define, if you even want to define it.
LINDSAY TAYLOR DELLINGER
You've got 2 minutes to tell me your life story
How do you respond?
The snarky, anxiety-prone, and organized side of my brain wants to ensure it’s understood that I feel connected enough to you to want to share my story and that it’s not unsolicited. If that’s the case, then I’m a forty-year-old orphan who, at first, reluctantly, learned to traverse much of life without the guidance of parental figures.
Everything about my youth made me and many others assume I’d end up unstable, in a failing marriage, and consistently in survival mode. And for a time, that was the case. I worked hard to build the life I’m leading now. Therapy is the single best thing I have ever done and continue to do for myself, and it’s a full-time job.
The work doesn’t only take place in the fifty-five minutes a week I share with a woman who knows me a thousand times better than I know her.
I’ve broken deeply ingrained patterns of self-destruction and insecurity while dismantling generational trauma. I willingly place myself in uncomfortable situations because I know that’s where the most transcendental, monumental growth happens.
I’m a wine-loving writer who enjoys solo traveling and believes the best way to get to know a new place is on foot, through food, and the eyes and recommendations of the people who call that place home. I spent the first eighteen years of my life in Kansas City, moved to Los Angeles two months after graduating high school, lived in NYC for a couple of years, went back to LA (home), and lived in the South of Spain for a couple of months. Now, I’m working on getting my dual Italian citizenship. I speak English, quite a bit of Spanish, and have been studying Italian for a year.
I’m a planner and profoundly loyal, but I am not a doormat. I have no problem telling someone where else they can walk. I’ve got many past lives, one of which included me being a singer. I don’t believe in coincidences, am inexplicably obsessed with the moon, and I love a good dad joke. Mental health is just as important as the heartburn you think might be a heart attack. I love K-dramas, plants, cats, wolves, and animals, in general, and I don’t trust people who say, “It’s just an animal” or some variation of that.
Losing both my parents when I was twenty-six years old has defined a substantial part of who I am. People like to say death doesn’t define us, but I don’t think that’s always true. Losing them and many others since has instilled an energy in me to live harder or make every moment count for lack of better expressions. While many find this admirable, it can be exhausting. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), though it has gotten better over the years. It’s challenging for me to slow my brain and body down and do nothing, something Italians (not this Italian) are really good at – il dolce far niente, or “the sweetness of doing nothing.”
I spent much of my life lacking boundaries, always going the extra mile (literally and figuratively). Once you learn boundaries after not having them for so long, they become sacred and second nature. Privacy and peace become a priority. If people, places, and things are bringing anything but peace, it won’t take long for me to eradicate that person, place, or thing from my life.
What moment shaped your identity as a woman and how does it guide you today?
A defining moment in my life that shaped my identity as a woman was the morning I found out I was pregnant about fourteen years ago. It has influenced the way I navigate the world today by making me into a fierce advocate for bodily autonomy. How I live in a world where a woman’s body is not consistently viewed, treated, seen, and marveled at by all as the most incredible and malleable thing (for lack of better terms) on earth, but often demeaned, degraded, abused, and stripped of its nature is beyond me.
I’m not only speaking of the woman’s body as the vessel that brings life (YOU) into this world, but also a woman’s body that can think, act, and DECIDE for itself whether it wants to bring life into this world. That is the very definition of being a woman, and no one and nothing will ever convince me otherwise.
In what ways do you think society’s perception of women has evolved, and what barriers or narratives do you believe still need to be tackled?
This question brings me back to Lena: In many ways, society is poison. Once we, as women, care about society’s perceptions, we’ve already downgraded ourselves to the lowly depths of people’s opinions, many of whom will never know our path and vice versa. And we all know what they say: “Opinions are like assholes; everyone has one…”
One of my favorite books – a book that changed my life – The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, encourages us to “not take anything personally.” It’s way easier said than done, but with practice, it can sincerely change the trajectory of your life. So, I guess you could say I believe the barriers and narratives that need to still be tackled are related more to our Self.
I wonder, once we, as women, stop collectively giving a shit what society’s perceptions are, once we stop taking things personally, perhaps that is where the fundamental progress and changes will occur?
I say that, aware of a great deal of privilege, aware that not giving a shit what others think in many global societies is not a luxury that some women can afford. I say that with the idea and hope that small steps in one society can culminate into larger steps for other societies.
Can you share a time when you felt underestimated or overlooked because of your gender, and how you responded to that challenge?
This has happened so many times in my life that it’s almost impossible to choose one. I started working at fourteen. At seventeen, I had three jobs during my senior year of high school because I knew I was moving to Los Angeles, and I needed to save money. One of the jobs was working as a hostess and waitress at a country club in an affluent neighborhood of Kansas City.
On one of my shifts, I was in the kitchen during a particularly busy hour. One of my coworkers, whom I happened to have a crush on, walked in. I asked him if there was anything he needed help with at that moment. He looked me right in the eye and replied, “Nope. Just do what you do best. Stand there and look pretty.”
Even at seventeen, I was so put off by this comment. I felt overlooked and underestimated, despite being a hard worker from a young age. Looking back on it now, the misogyny is much more apparent.
Many of the times I felt underestimated have come in the form of gender-specific microaggressions that people aren’t even aware of when unleashing them off their tongues.
“You’re so brave for going (insert place) by yourself.”
“Are you sure it’s safe for you to be walking alone?”
“Why are you so angry?”
I have heard the three above lines more times than I can count. While it’s easy to disguise the first two as “caring,” I think we must do better. Why does going to Peru on a solo trip by myself make me brave but not my thirty-year-old male colleague? Why is my walking alone down NYC’s Fifth Avenue at night perceived as unsafe? If we can’t answer those questions honestly, then we’re not making progress.
One of the times that stands out was when I was asked why I was so angry. It was probably 2019, and I was working in the fashion industry as an art director. I was passionately explaining to our male sales director that something was awry (can’t recall exactly what it was). What I can tell you for certain is that anger was not a present emotion until he loudly asked in front of all of my colleagues why I was so angry, while barely paying attention and scrolling on his phone, leaning over my desk.
I responded, “I’m not angry, (insert his name). I’m passionate about what I’m speaking of. There’s a difference.”
What does empowerment mean to you, and how do you cultivate it in yourself and other women?
Empowerment means taking the bull by the horns, sanding against the grain when it’s warranted, speaking up when something needs to be heard, and unapologetically living a life that is yours sans the inevitable judgment. I actively cultivate all of the above by being vulnerable and continuing to grow, learn, and celebrate myself and the women around me who are doing the same, or those who might need a little encouragement and motivation along the way.
If you could speak to your younger self, what wisdom or encouragement would you share about womanhood, strength, and self-worth?
How you look on the inside is so much more important than what you see when you look in a mirror. But, when you do look in a mirror, tell the woman looking back at you, “You’re enough. You’re beautiful. You’re worthy. You’re kind. You deserve every good thing that comes into your life. You don’t need to smile or do anything else you don’t want to do just to make others comfortable, especially men. You have so much power to change the things that can be changed, even though the world will often make you think otherwise. Move mountains, but don’t make them out of mole hills.”
"What leads to resilience and growth is how we walk through that fire – not simply walking through it."
What would you let go of to feel lighter and more at ease each day?
It was MaryLou who responded, “Nothing.” She went on to explain that she wouldn’t be herself if she let go of something, and that hit me hard. I have to agree.
Which woman, whether personal or public, inspires you, and why?
My mama, of course. But also, my nonna and my other grandmother. These are three extraordinarily different women, too – like I don’t think any of them have much in common.
My mama is the first to come to mind because I have become closer to her even in her death. The day I learned that that was a possibility was a fascinating one. Who knew that relationships don’t end just because someone is dead? Maybe that’s why relationships that end due to life circumstances sometimes feel more painful? We want to have a living, breathing relationship with the ones no longer living, and here we are, allowing our loved ones to depart under unfortunate life situations, both failing to maintain a relationship where possible.
Anyway, I’m digressing…I’ve learned a lot about being a woman and living life, and unlearning things society and others told me about myself from a very young age that just weren’t true. Many of these revelations resulted in a more profound understanding of my mother’s struggles during her short fifty-six years on earth. These insights have made my mother more human than my mother, more woman than my mother, more sister, daughter, wife, friend, complex human than my mother. It sounds kinda’ sad when put that way, but it’s actually really beautiful.
My nonna and other grandmother also come to mind because neither lived a particularly easy life. I mean, I know not many live an easy life, but I think we can all agree that there are degrees of easy and difficult. Without relaying every detail, as if I could understand what being an immigrant, married at seventeen, leaving my family to live in a country on the other side of the world, or living with chronic pain for years was like, let’s suffice it to say these were not ordinary life situations.
These were situations and struggles that contributed to the famous adage, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” While it’s often suggested that hardship or pain can lead to resilience and growth, I’m a firm believer that what leads to resilience and growth is how we walk through that fire – not simply walking through it.
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Elena
August 30, 2025 at 12:36 PMBeautifully written and lovely message. Wishing you the best from WA ?
Linds
August 30, 2025 at 1:55 PMThank you for reading, Elena, and sending well wishes right back atchya from LA 😉
Rachel Dalton
September 2, 2025 at 12:41 PMAbsolutely gorgeous! Thank you for sharing your answers ?
Linds
September 2, 2025 at 1:06 PMThank You, Rachel! And thank you for being a part of this series that culminated into so much more than I initially anticipated.
Renee-Anjanette (from J.L)
September 6, 2025 at 4:20 PMNothing more beautiful and powerful than a woman who is authentically and unapologetically self-aware! I’m so grateful that our paths have been brought together in this life, thank you for your light!!
Linds
September 7, 2025 at 1:46 PMRenee, thank you so much for that kind message, and I, too, am grateful that our paths have crossed in this life. Thank you for reading – sending you lots of love, light, and hugs from LA! xo